Types of Pain

Psychical, mental, emotional pain.... Tbh, I used to think psychical was the only type of abuse. Now that I am older, I realize abuse can come in a lot of forms. According to Merriam-webster abuse is corrupt practice or custom. I have experienced it and I am certain that you have too. Whether that be verbally, spiritually, financial or self-neglect. Most of us, since we are in relation with other humans, we will have some type of abuse in our lives. Abuse should bring a pain response. There are people, surely, that don't feel their pain after so many years. I am 31, pretty young (in comparison to how long I could wait) to only be 10 years into acknowledging pain for what it is. It is a warning. Pain is a warning. Pain says change something. Pain says, this is not okay and not the intended way. It is possible to numb the warning sign pain brings.

There’s a pain that is constant, another that is sudden. And again one that is dull, stuck in your stomach that will never go away. But at times it turns sharp, a blade of rage that envelopes your thoughts. I numb it with daily tasks, relationships and my work. Sometimes that isn’t enough so I find a way to distract myself. Find a new hobby, read a good book or watch a new series on Netflix.

This is a pain that comes from the roots of my soul. A root of rejection. Maybe another root would be of failure. And another self-hatred. The true depth of my soul see's the real, raw me. It knows no bounds of judgement and pity. It desires graces but gives and receives no such mercy. This is a pain that you do all you can to rid yourself of but it comes back when you least expect it. The one time you have the house to yourself, it creeps into your bathtub with you. It is the last thing that should given anytime of day while you are to be resting.

A type of pain that aches, along your entire body, it won't go unnoticed. It will knock, knock and knock again until you acknowledge it.

That could mean stretching, going on a walk or psychotherapy. There sometimes is a moment with a certain type of pain when nothing is enough except that one thing. It could be a hot bath or a heat pad. For some it is a pill, a specific or nonspecific painkiller. For others it could be a massage from their significant other, pushing in the right spots does the trick every-time.

Personally, it was the Moon. "where the moons at", "you got any moons?"

A pain reliever that's intention was for cancer patients. A person with horrible pain leading them to death.

I had a slang name for this pill, Opana, which was called a moon in my circles. Moons were my daily fix for pain.

The back pain. At least that's what I saw it as at the time in teens of 2000.

When you work while you use drugs, your body is numb so you over work. You miss out of rest and sleep. You ruin your body. Your back takes the toll. Once you are sober your back hurts so bad you can't stand to be sober.