Living a Life Worth Living

Living a Life Worth Living
2011 verses 2021

Today, I am thankful for my life as I drive past the place I almost died 11 years ago. I was awoken by something like 5 police. One of them nudged me with his boot to wake up because they’d called me an ambulance. I was overdosed against that ice machine. I was out for about 6 to 7 hours. I only have the timeline because I had just gone through a lunch rush next door and was fired for nodding out while the costumers filled the restaurant. When I came to it was dusk and supper time. As I stumbled away from the police I saw the ambulance lights in my peripheral. I felt the spirit tell me I would die if I didn’t get  in, He said "Go". I rolled my eyes at God and walked back to where the ambulance and police were. I was annoyed that they made me get on the gourney and wouldn't just let me climb into the ambulance.

They’d resuscitated me once in the ambulance and again at the hospital. My heart was beating four bpm. I should’ve died and if I lived should be brain dead. It is only by God’s hand that I am living to see my own children grow. I remember the doctor coming in and asking me to sign a form and telling me I should be dead. As soon as she left the room I fumbled through the drawers and stole whatever I saw, nothing that had any value to me... I called my friend who had my car to come get me so we could go get some more drugs. I was on Opana at the time (morphine and oxycotten mixed for cancer patients).

Today, right now, I commit my life to live as a sacrifice for Him again. It’s a daily choice for me to live for his purpose and not my own.

Addiction is bigger than us. It isn’t a respecter of kinds of people, rich or poor, smart or strong…. Be grateful if you’re sober. Be grateful if you’re alive. We are all breathing air given by the creator who loves us enough to give us another chance! 

With God!